I haven’t always weighed 62 kilos. But even when I weighed 48 I still
looked as if I weighed 60 or more.
Broad hips, large breasts, big bones. Drooping shoulders, like
When I had barely got to know my present husband and I was very much
in love, he took a photo while I was making fries for him. I look like a housewife, I said, like an aunty. Delete it. I’m not deleting it. Isn’t that what you are? he answered.
But artists are not that. It didn’t go down well with me.
One day, a poet took his clothes off while he was reading his texts.
The thing went viral.
For a few hours, the favourite word on the net was:
Let’s say it together: Ding-a-ling!
Along with naked poetry.
A handsome young white heterosexual man. A pureblood artist.
But what if:
A not so young woman, with spare tyres, sagging breasts, cellulite
Two children hanging onto her
performed naked poetry?
I like colourful clothes, artists dress in black. All black.
I don’t smoke, artists smoke. I don’t take drugs, I don’t drink.
Artists… well, never mind.
I’ve set my mind on losing weight. No more sweets and fat, start swimming,
jog in the park.
What if I also had a nose job?
Bought a back brace, back straight, shoulders up.
Radical wardrobe change.
I’m a raven.
Breast reduction surgery.
Artists are androgynous, I have REPRODUCTION written all over me.
The salvation of the species.
Short, broad hips, fat thighs, spare tyres, breasts, drooping shoulders.
Artists don’t reproduce.
Manole flies off the roof, his wife is walled up alive,
They love young people. They never forget they were also young once.
creative, lots of good ideas, given for free.
Young people had better stop making demands
Young people had better come to classes and learn some more
You are young, you don’t need any money.
What do you mean you have no time, what do you do all day.
Young lady, I’m disgusted. If you work, why do you need a faculty? If you say you work, can’t you see how you’re dressed? Why don’t you buy some new clothes, if you work? I’ll give you a five out of pity, because many years ago I had a very good student who was also from Medgidia.
Now look here, young lady, if you say you’re working, then you don’t need any studies. You already earn a living, you won’t suicide if you’re not admitted to this MA.
Sometimes, they walk all over young people
Sometimes young people make for a great doormat.
I was also a great doormat.
And then suddenly the money starts pouring in.
We suddenly learn to say thank you.
There’s one way of thanking at an unpaid event
And another way at a paid event.
Thank you very much.
Thanks a lot.
Gosh, I don’t even know how to thank you.
No, I thank you. It was amazing.
It was an honour to be here today.
But that doesn’t seem enough. You get home. You post on facebook.
“How wonderful it was. Very good organization. I felt great.”
You tag the organizers.
Let them see you know how to be grateful.
Maybe they’ll think of you next time, too.
Make sure you bring your camera and take photos.
Make sure you bow and scrape
Make sure you grovel
Make sure you lick boots
Make sure you cringe
Make sure you beg